Preface: By no means am I claiming to be the ultimate authority on this matter. I’m simply sharing what I have learned…the hard way.
I used to hate when women would give me the advice “Just make sure you are guarding your heart…”, not because I didn’t want to…I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT THEY MEANT much less how to do that. If I asked for clarification I usually got some general explanation and an accompanying scripture like:
Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
I would often think “For the love of God! I don’t understand…please, God, how do I guard my heart?!” If I didn’t get it as a girl I can’t fault all those clueless boys, right? LOL I don’t know, but, we all have a responsibility to guard our hearts (and to love others as we would love ourselves i.e. guard others hearts as well)… no matter what gender or how naive.
Living in Japan I have learned a whole lot about my heart. It isn’t just t
he organ that keeps blood flowing through my veins. My heart is symbolic of my core. Guard the core of your being because it will affect everything else about you. Hmmm how do I guard the core of my being?
Obedience. Wisdom. Discernment. Trust…
Just a few ways in which God shows us how He intends to “guard our hearts”. Not that they are easy, I mean, you don’t just happen on discernment or wisdom. But, through our relationship with God we find the perfect example (Christ) who makes it so unbelievably easy to learn from and practice these heart foundations with. We guard our hearts by entrusting them first to God, then as we grow up in Him, we have better wisdom and discernment as to where & when we can share certain aspects of our hearts with others i.e. we are better able to guard our heart from the outside what God has consecrated on the inside. Not to say, we will never hurt if we do these things, but rather to point out that as life happens and our hearts are guarded by God that they are therefore maintained and taken care of by Him. No matter what we face we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and through prayer and petition have peace that surpasses all understanding. However, in order to keep our hearts that way, we must continue to walk in wisdom, live in the spirit, keep our minds set on things above, and so forth…but how is this done specifically, oh say, in relation to boys haha
1 Timothy 5:1-3 1Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.
O.K. I’m going to be a completly girly here but I’m going to reveal, in my opinion, a certain part of all girls hearts…feel free to offer any other insights.
I’ve learned that most of the guys that I’ve come across are boys and not men… in the manner of relating to women. There’s a fine line, but you know a man, by the way, he treats, others, especially ladies. For example, the reason so many women find 
Mr. Darcy (of Pride and Prejudice) and Leopold (of Kate and Leopold) so attractive is due to their character. They are responsible and make their intentions known to the ladies they are interested in. They don’t toy around with flirting with them first, to see if they are “compatible”, or try and “friend” date them, so they can test the waters. No, they know what they want or could want and make those intentions known, no more no less. They understood that a women’s heart is fragile and should be handled with care.
Most women (haha, I know there are some who are emotionally high maintenance and I mean far above the average level) desire, sigh, no, long for men to be inten
tional with their words and actions. Why else would we sit with our friends and analyze everything the guy said and/or did. LOL A guy that can humble himself to make his intentions known NO MATTER THE OUTCOME certainly is issued a man-card in my book. If he is able to maintain membership is another story. HA! But, that first step does so much and foremost, it shows how the man respects women… by guarding their hearts. When intentions are laid out on the table women are able to calm their hearts, prepare their hearts and/or guard their hearts.
So, what do women do when guys play the “friend” role? Nothing, if you like him…STOP FEEDING YOUR ANALYTICAL MACHINE. Take everything for face value. Don’t read into anything because if he doesn’t like you enough, NO, if he doesn’t respect you enough, to guard your heart… THEN DON’T HAND IT TO HIM ON A SILVER PLATTER! If he is not making it obvious enough for you to know he is interested then he needs to be more intentional and/or he is just not that into you. Besides, he failed the first test of taking care of you, you think he will pass the others? Anyway, my point is for the ladies. If you intend to guard your heart then fortify it with Adamantium and don’t let ANY guy in, unless he holds a man-card! haha Ok that is a bit extreme. The point is don’t just let any guy who is somewhat interested have a piece of your heart, no matter how good of a “friend” they seem to be! (But remember ladies…the pendulum swings both ways. Make sure you are guarding his heart as well… Also, side note, I’ve never seen that movie but I liked the title LOL)
Guys think they are guarding our hearts by testing the waters and not commiting to us because they equate guarding hearts with no pain. When in reality what they do by creating an influx of grey area is far more painful to women. Guys…just be intentional with your words and actions.
So, sisters, guard your heart by not being too intimate with a guy emotionally, physically and temporally. For how long? That is for you and God to determine at what level your heart should be guarded and for what amount of time. Above all this, guard your heart by seeking God with all your heart and growing in His wisdom, love, discernment, and you know… Christ like character.
Col. 3:1-17 1Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4When Christ, who is your[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
5Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.[b] 7You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
15Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Also, I just came across this blog today and I think the author goes into more detail on some dating issue than I do and is a great read! Check it out too… http://fillup.wordpress.com/2006/08/30/the-bible-and-dating-how-to-guard-your-heart/
