Preface: By no means am I claiming to be the ultimate authority on this matter.  I’m simply sharing what I have learned…the hard way.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

I would often think “For the love of God! I don’t understand…please, God, how do I guard my heart?!”  If I didn’t get it as a girl I can’t fault all those clueless boys, right? LOL I don’t know, but, we all have a responsibility to guard our hearts (and to love others as we would love ourselves i.e. guard others hearts as well)… no matter what gender or how naive.

Living in Japan I have learned a whole lot about my heart.  It isn’t just the organ that keeps blood flowing through my veins.  My heart is symbolic of my core.  Guard the core of your being because it will affect everything else about you.  Hmmm how do I guard the core of my being?

Obedience.  Wisdom.  Discernment.  Trust…

Just a few ways in which God shows us how He intends to “guard our hearts”.  Not that they are easy, I mean, you don’t just happen on discernment or wisdom.  But, through our relationship with God we find the perfect example (Christ) who makes it so unbelievably easy to learn from and practice these heart foundations with.  We guard our hearts by entrusting them first to God, then as we grow up in Him, we have better wisdom and discernment as to where & when we can share certain aspects of our hearts with others i.e. we are better able to guard our heart from the outside what God has consecrated on the inside.  Not to say, we will never hurt if we do these things, but rather to point out that as life happens and our hearts are guarded by God that they are therefore maintained and taken care of by Him. No matter what we face we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us and through prayer and petition have peace that surpasses all understanding.   However, in order to keep our hearts that way, we must continue to walk in wisdom, live in the spirit, keep our minds set on things above, and so forth…but how is this done specifically, oh say,  in relation to boys  haha

1 Timothy 5:1-3 ¹Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, ²older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

O.K. I’m going to be a completly girly here but I’m going to reveal, in my opinion, a certain part of all girls hearts…feel free to offer any other insights.

I’ve learned that most of the guys that I’ve come across are boys and not men… in the manner of relating to women.  There’s a fine line, but you know a man, by the way, he treats, others, especially ladies.  For example, the reason so many women find Mr. Darcy (of Pride and Prejudice) and Leopold (of Kate and Leopold) so attractive is due to their character.  They are responsible and make their intentions known to the ladies they are interested in. They don’t toy around with flirting with them first, to see if they are “compatible”, or try and “friend” date them, so they can test the waters.  No, they know what they want or could want and make those intentions known, no more no less.  They understood that a women’s heart is fragile and should be handled with care.

Most women (haha, I know there are some who are emotionally high maintenance and I mean far above the average level) desire, sigh, no, long for men to be intentional with their words and actions.  Why else would we sit with our  friends and analyze everything the guy said and/or did.  LOL A guy that can humble himself to make his intentions known NO MATTER THE OUTCOME certainly is issued a man-card in my book. If he is able to maintain membership is another story. HA! But, that first step does so much and foremost, it shows how the man respects women… by guarding their hearts.  When intentions are laid out on the table women are able to calm their hearts, prepare their hearts and/or guard their hearts.

So, what do women do when guys play the “friend” role?  Nothing, if you like him…STOP FEEDING YOUR ANALYTICAL MACHINE.  Take everything for face value.  Don’t read into anything because if he doesn’t like you enough, NO, if he doesn’t respect you enough, to guard your heart… THEN DON’T HAND IT TO HIM ON A SILVER PLATTER!  If he is not making it obvious enough for you to know he is interested then he needs to be more intentional and/or he is just not that into you.  Besides, he failed the first test of taking care of you, you think he will pass the others?  Anyway, my point is for the ladies.  If you intend to guard your heart then fortify it with Adamantium and don’t let ANY guy in, unless he holds a man-card!  haha Ok that is a bit extreme.  The point is don’t just let any guy who is somewhat interested have a piece of your heart, no matter how good of a “friend” they seem to be! (But remember ladies…the pendulum swings both ways.  Make sure you are guarding his heart as well… Also, side note,  I’ve never seen that movie but I liked the title LOL)

Guys think they are guarding our hearts by testing the waters and not commiting to us because they equate guarding hearts with no pain.  When in reality what they do by creating an influx of grey area is far more painful to women.  Guys…just be intentional with your words and actions.

So, sisters, guard your heart by not being too intimate with a guy emotionally, physically and temporally.  For how long?  That is for you and God to determine at what level your heart should be guarded and for what amount of time.  Above all this,  guard your heart by seeking God with all your heart and growing in His wisdom, love, discernment, and you know… Christ like character.

Col. 3:1-17 ¹Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. ²Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. ³For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ, who is your^[a] life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

⁵Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. ⁶Because of these, the wrath of God is coming.^{[b] 7}You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. ⁸But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. ⁹Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. ¹¹Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

¹²Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ¹³Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. ¹⁴And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

¹⁵Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. ¹⁶Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. ¹⁷And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Also, I just came across this blog today and I think the author goes into more detail on some dating issue than I do and is a great read!  Check it out too… http://fillup.wordpress.com/2006/08/30/the-bible-and-dating-how-to-guard-your-heart/

I long for the friendship of a mentor in my life.  

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. 

(Titus 2:3-5 ESV)

From Sunrise Land: Letters from Japan By: Amy Carmichael

Next, is another nugget that looks at the biblical role of manhood and womanhood.  With such renowned members as Rev. John Piper, Dr. Theol., Daniel L. Akin, Ph.D., Joshua Harris, C. J. Mahaney and many more:

http://www.cbmw.org/Blog

And finally, my personal favorite.   This blog is written by older women who want to have Girl Talk!  hehehe I love it!  Mainly they are conversations on Biblical womanhood and as they put it…other fun stuff:

http://girltalk.blogs.com/girltalk/

I hope you enjoy those links…I’m thinking later I’ll share some other resources that have been a blessing to me as a single.  Until next time, じゃ、　またね！

After hearing this sermon I wept because the day before yesterday a new sister came into the kingdom, her English name from here on out will be Ulla.  That night I also wept after Ulla committed her life to Christ but I didn’t understand why it impacted me so much until now.  For some reason, God was showing me something new in this and now I know it is because this new sister has become my daughter in Christ.  My dear friend and sister J-chan whom I have been blessed to disciple is the same.  My family in Christ is growing and I have become a mother.  May God reign supreme in my life as a single that my family in Christ may expand and mature.  Below is a sermon on singleness in Christ by John Piper that explains more fully the current state of my heart.  If you would like to see the original link for this please click here.   Below is the written form and video form of John Pipers sermon:

Isaiah 56:1-7
Thus says the Lord: “Keep justice, and do righteousness, for soon my salvation will come, and my deliverance be revealed. 2 Blessed is the man who does this, and the son of man who holds it fast, who keeps the Sabbath, not profaning it, and keeps his hand from doing any evil.” 3 Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely separate me from his people”; and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” 4 For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, 5 I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off. 6 “And the foreigners who join themselves to the Lord, to minister to him, to love the name of the Lord, and to be his servants, everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it, and holds fast my covenant— 7 these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples.”

I will start and end with my main point and, in the middle, cover a wide terrain of Scripture to support it. My main point is that God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children, and he calls you to display, by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness, the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage and childrearing. The truths, namely,

1. That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;1
2. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families (and, of course, it is wonderful when relationships in families are also relationships in Christ; but we know that is often not the case);
3. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
4. That faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

To say the main point more briefly: God promises spectacular blessings to those of you who remain single in Christ, and he gives you an extraordinary calling for your life. To be single in Christ is, therefore, not a falling short of God’s best, but a path of Christ-exalting, covenant-keeping obedience that many are called to walk.

Better Blessings Than Sons and Daughters

Now let’s step back and look at the Scriptures. And here let me give credit to Barry Danylak for his research on this issue and his very helpful paper “A Biblical-Theological Perspective on Singleness” (PDF). Let’s start in the middle of the Bible at Isaiah 56:4-5,

Thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs [those who cannot procreate but turn their lives into a unique service instead of marriage] who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.”

God promises to bless obedient eunuchs with blessings that are better than sons and daughters. In other words, God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.

The Bigger Picture in Redemptive History

But to see this more clearly we need to get the bigger picture. In the created order that God put in place before sin was in the world, and in the covenantal order that God put in place with the Jewish people from Abraham to the coming of Christ, “God is primarily building his covenant people through the mechanism of procreation.” God was focusing his covenant-keeping faithfulness mainly on an ethnic people. Therefore, being married and having offspring was of paramount importance for one’s name and one’s inheritance and for the preservation of God’s covenant people.

Creation

So in Genesis 1:28, the first thing God says to Adam and Eve is, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” And in the account ofGenesis 2:18, when woman was not yet created, God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”

Abraham and Isaac

And when Abraham was chosen as the father of God’s people, God took him out and showed him the stars and said, “So shall your offspring be” (Genesis 15:5). And when Abraham could not have a son because of Sarah’s barrenness, Abraham said, “Oh that Ishmael might live before you!” But God answered, “No, . . . Sarah your wife shall bear you a son.” In other words, the physical offspring mattered. And it would come in God’s way.

God reaffirms the same to Isaac in Genesis 26:3: “I will be with you and will bless you, for to you and to your offspring I will give all these lands, and I will establish the oath that I swore to Abraham your father.” Again physical “offspring” are crucial for the covenant.

David and Saul

These offspring are crucial not only for the preservation of the covenant but also because a person’s name would end without children. So Saul asks David to swear that he will not cut off his offspring for the sake of his name. First Samuel 24:21: “Swear to me therefore by the Lord that you will not cut off my offspring after me, and that you will not destroy my name out of my father’s house.”

Levirate Marriage and Ruth

Remember the whole elaborate system of Levirate marriage—that is, the marriage of a man to his deceased brother’s wife so that the name of the deceased brother would not be lost. The rule was that the first son born would bear the dead brother’s name.Deuteronomy 25:6: “The first son whom she bears shall succeed to the name of his dead brother, that his name may not be blotted out of Israel.” That’s an amazing provision for the perpetuation of the name through physical seed.

The most famous instance of this is when Boaz agreed to marry Ruth to preserve the name of Elimelech her father-in-law and Mahlon her husband. Boaz said, “Ruth the Moabite, the widow of Mahlon, I have bought to be my wife, to perpetuate the name of the dead in his inheritance, that the name of the dead may not be cut off from among his brothers and from the gate of his native place. You are witnesses this day” (Ruth 4:10).

Jephthah’s Daughter

So you can see how crucial marriage and offspring and the preservation of a name and an inheritance were in Israel. No wonder that Jephthah’s daughter asked for two months not to bewail her impending death but that she was never married.Judges 11:37-38a: “She said to her father, ‘Let this thing be done for me: leave me alone two months, that I may go up and down on the mountains and weep for my virginity, I and my companions.’ So he said, ‘Go.’”

Isaiah’s Prophecy: “He Shall See His Offspring”

All of this is the background that makes Isaiah 56:5 shine like the sun to eunuchs and others without marriage and children: “Thus says the Lord: ‘To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.” So without marriage and without children. these covenant-keeping eunuchs get a name and a memorial better than sons and daughters.

Where did this amazing promise come from? What’s the basis of it and what is it pointing toward? Turn back to Isaiah 53. This is the great prophecy of the sufferings of Christ who “was wounded for our transgressions [and] . . . crushed for our iniquities” (Isaiah 53:5). In this chapter, we sometimes overlook these words in verse 10: “It was the will of the Lord to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand.”

He shall see his offspring. Here is a great prophecy: When the Messiah dies as an “offering for guilt” and rises again to “prolong his days,” he will by that great saving act produce many children: He will “see his offspring.” In other words, the new people of God formed by the Messiah will not be formed by physical procreation but by the atoning death of Christ.

Which is why the next chapter (Isaiah 54) begins, “‘Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord” (Isaiah 54:1). And this is also why our text (Isaiah 56:5) says that unmarried covenant-keeping people will have “a monument and a name better than sons and daughters . . . [and] an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.” In the true people of God formed by Jesus Christ, monuments, names, offspring, and inheritances do not arise through marriage and procreation.

Jesus, Paul, and Peter

So when we come now to the New Testament, Jesus makes clear that his people—the true people of God—will be produced not by physical procreation but by spiritual regeneration. So he says to Nicodemus, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God” (John 3:3).

And Paul says in Galatians 3 to the Jews and Gentiles alike, “Know then that it is those of faith who are the sons of Abraham. . . . In Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith” (Galatians 3:7, 26). In other words, it is not physical descent from Abraham that makes you part of the covenant people of God but faith in Christ.

And Peter says that our inheritance comes not through marriage and offspring but through the work of Christ and the new birth: “According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born againto a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you” (1 Peter 1:3-4).

So Jesus and Paul and Peter all say: Children are born into God’s family and receive their inheritance not by marriage and procreation but by faith and regeneration. Which means that single people in Christ have zero disadvantage in bearing children for God, and may in some ways have a great advantage. The apostle Paul was single in Christ, and he said of his converts, “Though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:15). Paul was a great father, and never married. And let him speak for single women in Christ in 1 Thessalonians 2:7: “We were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.” So it will be said of many single women in Christ: She was a great mother and never married.

A Radical Relational Reordering

Take heed here lest you minimize what I am saying and do not hear how radical it really is. I am not sentimentalizing singleness to make the unmarried feel good. I am declaring the temporary and secondary nature of marriage and family over against the eternal and primary nature of the church. Marriage and family are temporary for this age; the church is forever. I am declaring the radical biblical truth that being in a human family is no sign of eternal blessing, but being in God’s family means being eternally blessed. Relationships based on family are temporary. Relationships based on union with Christ are eternal. Marriage is a temporary institution, but what it stands for lasts forever. “In the resurrection,” Jesus said, “they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30).

And when his own mother and brothers asked to see him, Jesus said, “‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’ And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers!’” (Matthew 12:48-49). Jesus is turning everything around. Yes, he loved his mother and his brothers. But those are all natural and temporary relationships. He did not come into the world to focus on that. He came into the world to call out a people for his name from all the families into a new family where single people in Christ are full-fledged family members on a par with all others, bearing fruit for God and becoming mothers and fathers of the eternal kind.

“Blessed is the womb that bore you, and the breasts at which you nursed!” a woman cried out to Jesus. And he turned and said, “Blessed rather are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11:27). The mother of God is the obedient Christian—married or single! Take a deep breath and reorder your world.

“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel,” Jesus said, “who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life” (Mark 10:29-30). Single person, married person, do you want children, mothers, brothers, sisters, lands? Renounce the primacy of your natural relationships and follow Jesus into the fellowship of the people of God.

Let Him Who Is Able to Receive This Receive It

What shall we say then in view this great biblical vision of the secondary and temporary nature of marriage and procreation? We will say what Jesus and Paul said. Jesus said in Matthew 19:12, “There are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” We need not take this (“made themselves eunuchs”) to mean any kind of physical sterilization any more than we take Jesus’ words “tear out your right eye” to mean physically blinding ourselves. But it does mean that Jesus approves that some of his followers renounce marriage and sexual activity for the sake of serving Christ’s kingdom. “Let him who is able to receive this receive it.”

That is what Paul chose for himself and what he encouraged others to consider in 1 Corinthians 7. “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. . . . I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife . . . . I say this . . . to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:8, 32-33, 35). In other words, some are called to be “eunuchs” for the kingdom of God. Paul speaks about each having his own gift: “one of one kind, one of another” (1 Corinthians 7:7). In other words, “Let him who is able to receive this receive it.”

Better Blessings

So now we end where we began with all this Scripture in our mind. God promises those of you who remain single in Christ blessings that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.

If someone asks, wouldn’t it be better to have both? The blessings of marriage and the blessings of heaven? There are two answers to that question. One is that you will find out someday, and better to learn it now, that the blessings of being with Christ in heaven, are so far superior to the blessings of being married and raising children and that asking this question will be like asking: Wouldn’t it be better to have the ocean and the thimble full? And the second answer is that marriage and singleness both present us with unique trials and unique opportunities for our sanctification. There will be unique rewards for each, and which is greater will not depend on whether you were married or single, but on how you responded to each.

So I say it again to all singles in Christ: God promises you blessings in the age to come that are better than the blessings of marriage and children.

Uniquely Displaying the Glories of Christ

And with this promise there comes a unique calling and a unique responsibility. It is not a calling to extend irresponsible adolescence into your thirties. It is a calling to do what only single men and women in Christ can do in this world, namely, to display by the Christ-exalting devotion of your singleness the truths about Christ and his kingdom that shine more clearly through singleness than through marriage. As long as you are single, this is your calling: to so live for Christ as to make it clearer to the world and to the church

1. That the family of God grows not by propagation through sexual intercourse, but by regeneration through faith in Christ;
2. That relationships in Christ are more permanent, and more precious, than relationships in families;
3. That marriage is temporary, and finally gives way to the relationship to which it was pointing all along: Christ and the church—the way a picture is no longer needed when you see face to face;
4. And that faithfulness to Christ defines the value of life; all other relationships get their final significance from this. No family relationship is ultimate; relationship to Christ is.

To him be glory in the Christ-exalting drama of marriage and the Christ-exalting drama of the single life. Amen

I recently had a discussion with friend about singleness.  Both of us have struggled with this issue for a quite a long time.  I think at this point in our lives that God is teaching us the same thing on singleness and faith but I also think this is because this is the view He would have us cling to above any other.  Not because it is easy but because it is what glorifies him…below is an excerpt of our discussion:

Melissa: My friend sent me this link about a book and I thought you might find it interesting:

“Get Married:What Women Can Do to Help It Happen” By Candice Watters

This is not a book about making the most of singleness, nor is it a how-to with ten steps to “finding the man of your dreams.” Rather, it’s a book that encourages single women to live like they plan to get married. It will show you how to embrace Christian community, learn to encourage men and empower women as you work toward your ultimate goal: a God-glorifying marriage. Includes commonly asked questions about applying Get Married to individual situations, recommended reading, and author’s personal story.

Friend:  hmmm, sounds cool!  kinda different the way she put it, but refreshing.. the whole  ”as you work toward your ultimate goal: a God-glorifying marriage”.  Seems like people always try to make me feel guilty cuz I look forward to it so much, do you think you will get the book?

Melissa: i doubt it..but it sounded like something you would like so i thought i’d share

Friend: I probably wont read it, I have read so many of those kind of books, im pretty sure If I went in the singles section of lifeway I can tell you all those books in alphabetical order… well maybe not.  But I think girls get those books, i know i did for this reason, becasue they think it will bring their future husband quicker.. or blah blah.. anywho.. I’ll stick to my nicholoas sparks for now I suppose.. as he gives me a completely unrealistic view of love.. he he  I am starting twighlight though, im excited! 

Melissa: yeah i didn’t feel like getting it because i don’t know if i really agree with it all that much…My thinking is what if you prepare your life away for someone who never comes…i’d rather just “make the most of singleness” as they put it and if it happens…it happens…either way I’m serving the Lord.

Friend:  exactly like my planning to seminary.  Im planning on at least geting my certificate, and then coming overseas to do an appreticship.  I cant sit around in america and wait for a guy that is also called to the field.  I have to keep truckin it! 

This book sounds good on the surface but the more I thought about it I realized I didn’t like it’s proposal for the purpose of my life.  I don’t need to “live like I plan on getting married” because that sows a dream within my heart that is not centered on the purpose of the cross.  I know this books summary proposes a fallacious purpose in life BECAUSE of where God has me now.  I live in Japan as a missionary!!!  I can’t live “like I plan to get married” and “embrace Christian community” for my own selfish purposes.  It sounds like a self-help book on how best to use the kingdom of God to advance your own purpose in life…marriage. No!!!  I refuse to be tempted to live “like I plan to get married” if that means I have to reformat how I view the Christian community.  

Our my minds should be set on the kingdom of God.  Now, maybe this is what she actually explains in the book…I have to hold my tongue and not condemn the author since of course I’ve never even read the book.  What I’m saying is that from the summary of this book I am forced to disagree her.  I must live my life making the most of singleness.  This doesn’t mean that I live my life as some staunch Christian feminist who opposes marriage or that I have to center my life around the preparation of a marriage that may never come.  Living my life for God and making the most of singleness IS the best preparation for marriage no matter what this books summary claims because, I live my life in the way God intended me to, for HIM.  I have my goals set on expanding His kingdom…not my own.  I am living for Him as a good steward of the life He has blessed me with.  

Maybe this singleness of mine is a season or maybe it’s a lifetime.  I don’t know, but I do know that it shouldn’t matter, because God knows what I need and He is faithful.  He will be faithful to give me a mate if  HE determines it is not good for me to be alone.  My heart desires to be married and I know that God understands that better than I do.  So, I must rest satisfied in Him knowing that I can trust Him in all circumstances, especially my singleness.  That living single, with the desire to be married, while living for God, is daily an act of faith.  Faith that I don’t have to run after boys or live life a special way because I need to prepare for marriage but instead trusting that God alone is the one who will prepare me as I live in obedience to Him.  That following hard after Him with a humble, eager and teachable spirit is allowing Him to mold me but most importantly the best way to approach ANY relationship. 

Today, I read a blog about faith that I believe gives one of the best explanations on faith that I’ve heard in a long time.  You can find the original blog here but for the purpose of this post here it is below:

Bones on Faith

I happened to turn on the television the other day just as this exchange was taking place between two characters, Hodgins and Brennan, on the show Bones.  The two were trapped in a buried car with very little air left:

H:  If the ransom was paid, we’d be out by now.  Why prolong the inevitable?

B:  Booth will find us.

H:  You have a lot of faith in Booth.

B:  No, faith is an irrational belief in something that is logically impossible.  Over time I’ve seen what Booth can do.  It’s not faith. 

Brennan has a popular misunderstanding of the word “faith.”  Faith is opposed to sight, not to rationality, logic, or knowledge.  Ironically, she was giving an excellent demonstration of faith, though she misunderstood the word.  She couldn’t see Booth coming to save her, but she had knowledge about Booth through previous demonstrations of his abilities that led her to trust in his ability to save her in the future.  Her belief that Booth would save her was not illogical–there’s nothing about such a belief that defies logic.  But it was unseen–that is, he had not yet saved her.

In the same way, we trust God to fulfill His promises based on what we know of His character and power.  Faith is looking back to what God has done in the past “so that we may know” He is God, and then “coming to God, believing that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.”  We have anassurance of things that are, as yet, unseen because over time we’ve seen what God can do.  This is faith.

Below is the manifesto that I recently signed on http://www.truewoman.com  it exemplifies the consecrated life that I am striving to live.

 A personal and corporate declaration of belief, consecration, and prayerful intent—to the end that Christ may be exalted and the glory and redeeming love of God may be displayed throughout the whole earth.

WE BELIEVE that God is the sovereign Lord of the universe and the Creator of life, and that all created things exist for His pleasure and to bring Him glory.1

WE BELIEVE that the creation of humanity as male and female was a purposeful and magnificent part of God’s wise plan, and that men and women were designed to reflect the image of God in complementary and distinct ways.2

WE BELIEVE that sin has separated every human being from God and made us incapable of reflecting His image as we were created to do. Our only hope for restoration and salvation is found in repenting of our sin and trusting in Christ who lived a sinless life, died in our place, and was raised from the dead.3

WE REALIZE that we live in a culture that does not recognize God’s right to rule, does not accept Scripture as the pattern for life, and is experiencing the consequences of abandoning God’s design for men and women.4

WE BELIEVE that Christ is redeeming this sinful world and making all things new, and that His followers are called to share in His redemptive purposes as they seek, by God’s empowerment, to transform every aspect of human life that has been marred and ruined by sin.5

As Christian women, we desire to honor God by living counter-cultural lives that reflect the beauty of Christ and His gospel to our world.

TO THAT END, WE AFFIRM THAT . . .

Scripture is God’s authoritative means of instructing us in His ways and it reveals His holy pattern for our womanhood, our character, our priorities, and our various roles, responsibilities, and relationships.6

We glorify God and experience His blessing when we accept and joyfully embrace His created design, function, and order for our lives.7

As redeemed sinners, we cannot live out the beauty of biblical womanhood apart from the sanctifying work of the gospel and the power of the indwelling Holy Spirit.8

Men and women are both created in the image of God and are equal in value and dignity, but they have distinct roles and functions in the home and in the church.9

We are called as women to affirm and encourage men as they seek to express godly masculinity, and to honor and support God-ordained male leadership in the home and in the church.10

Marriage, as created by God, is a sacred, binding, lifelong covenant between one man and one woman.11

When we respond humbly to male leadership in our homes and churches, we demonstrate a noble submission to authority that reflects Christ’s submission to God His Father.12

Selfish insistence on personal rights is contrary to the spirit of Christ who humbled Himself, took on the form of a servant, and laid down His life for us.13

Human life is precious to God and is to be valued and protected, from the point of conception until rightful death.14

Children are a blessing from God, and women are uniquely designed to be bearers and nurturers of life, whether it be their own biological or adopted children, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, or other children in their sphere of influence.15

God’s plan for gender is wider than marriage; all women, whether married or single, are to model femininity in their various relationships, by exhibiting a distinctive modesty, responsiveness, and gentleness of spirit.16

Suffering is an inevitable reality in a fallen world; at times we will be called to suffer for doing what is good—looking to heavenly reward rather than earthly comfort—for the sake of the gospel and the advancement of Christ’s Kingdom.17

Mature Christian women have a responsibility to leave a legacy of faith, by discipling younger women in the Word and ways of God and modeling for the next generation lives of fruitful femininity.18

Believing the above, we declare our desire and intent to be “true women” of God. We consecrate ourselves to fulfill His calling and purposes for our lives. By His grace and in humble dependence on His power, we will:

1. Seek to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength.19

2. Gladly yield control of our lives to Christ as Lord—we will say “Yes, Lord” to the Word and the will of God.20

3. Be women of the Word, seeking to grow in our knowledge of Scripture and to live in accord with sound doctrine in every area of our lives.21

4. Nurture our fellowship and communion with God through prayer—in praise, thanksgiving, confession, intercession, and supplication.22

5. Embrace and express our unique design and calling as women with humility, gratitude, faith, and joy.23

6. Seek to glorify God by cultivating such virtues as purity, modesty, submission, meekness, and love.24

7. Show proper respect to both men and women, created in the image of God, esteeming others as better than ourselves, seeking to build them up, and putting off bitterness, anger, and evil speaking.25

8. Be faithfully engaged in our local church, submitting ourselves to our spiritual leaders, growing in the context of the community of faith, and using the gifts He has given us to serve others, to build up the Body of Christ, and to fulfill His redemptive purposes in the world.26

9. Seek to establish homes that manifest the love, grace, beauty, and order of God, that provide a climate conducive to nurturing life, and that extend Christian hospitality to those outside the walls of our homes.27

10. Honor the sacredness, purity, and permanence of the marriage covenant—whether ours or others’.28

11. Receive children as a blessing from the Lord, seeking to train them to love and follow Christ and to consecrate their lives for the sake of His gospel and Kingdom.29

12. Live out the mandate of Titus 2—as older women, modeling godliness and training younger women to be pleasing to God in every respect; as younger women, receiving instruction with meekness and humility and aspiring to become mature women of God who in turn will train the next generation.30

13. Seek opportunities to share the gospel of Christ with unbelievers.31

14. Reflect God’s heart for those who are poor, infirm, oppressed, widows, orphans, and prisoners, by reaching out to minister to their practical and spiritual needs in the name of Christ.32

15. Pray for a movement of revival and reformation among God’s people that will result in the advancement of the Kingdom and gospel of Christ among all nations.33

 

11 Cor. 8:6; Col. 1:16; Rev. 4:11

2 Gen. 1:26–27; 2:18; 1 Cor. 11:8

3 Gen. 3:1–7, 15–16; Mark 1:15; 1 Cor. 15:1–4

4 Prov. 14:12; Jer. 17:9; Rom. 3:18, 8:6–7; 2 Tim. 3:16

5 Eph. 4:22–24; Col. 3:12–14; Titus 2:14

6 Josh. 1:8; 2 Tim. 3:16; 2 Pet. 1:20–21; 3:15–16

7 1 Tim. 2:9; Titus 2:3–5; 1 Pet. 3:3–6

8 John 15:1–5; 1 Cor. 15:10; Eph. 2:8–10; Phil. 2:12–13

9 Gen. 1:26–28; 2:18; Gal. 3:26–28; Eph. 5:22–33

10 Mark 9:35; 10:42–45; Gen. 2:18; 1 Pet. 5:1–4; 1 Cor. 14:34; 1 Tim. 2:12–3:7

11 Gen. 2:24; Mark 10:7–9

12 Eph. 5:22–33; 1 Cor. 11:3

13 Luke 13:30; John 15:13; Eph. 4:32; Phil. 2:5–8

14 Psalm 139:13–16

15 Gen 1:28; 9:1; Psalm 127; Titus 2:4–5

16 1 Cor. 11:2–16; 1 Tim. 2:9–13

17 Matt. 5:10–12; 2 Cor. 4:17; James 1:12; 1 Pet. 2:21–23; 3:14–17; 4:14

18 Titus 2:3–5

19 Deut. 6:4–5; Mark 12:29–30

20 Psalm 25:4–5; Rom. 6:11–13; 16–18; Eph. 5:15–17

21 Acts 17:11; 1 Pet. 1:15; 2 Pet. 3:17–18; Titus 2:1, 3–5, 7

22 Psalm 5:2; Phil. 4:6; 1 Tim. 2:1–2

23 Prov. 31:10–31; Col. 3:18; Eph. 5:22–24, 33b

24 Rom. 12:9–21; 1 Pet. 3:1–6; 1 Tim. 2:9–14

25 Eph. 4:29–32; Phil. 2:1–4; James 3:7–10; 4:11

26 Rom. 12:6–8; 14:19; Eph. 4:15, 29; Heb. 13:17

27 Prov. 31:10–31; 1 Tim. 5:10; 1 John 3:17–18

28 Matt. 5:27–28; Mark 10:5–9; 1 Cor. 6:15–20; Heb. 13:4

29 Psalm 127:3; Prov. 4:1–23; 22:6

30 Titus 2:3–5

31 Matt. 28:19–20; Col. 4:3–6

32 Matt. 25:36; Luke 10:25–37; James 1:27; 1 Tim. 6:17–19

33 2 Chron. 7:14; Psalm 51:1–10; 85:6; 2 Pet. 3:9

Ok so I’m not much of a writer but since I wrote a huge comment on my friends website I feel the need to share it on here hehehe To preface my comments…My friend wrote a blog about being calloused toward God as a Christian and how sometimes in life we are really sensitive to sin when at other points we are “calloused”. He then talked about the opposite of that and believers who are self-righteous and asked if there was a happy medium somewhere. Here are my responses…

Friend, sigh, I found this video really disgusting. To be honest I couldn’t even watch the whole thing as I saw that it was going to progressively get worse I didn’t care to subject myself to the lewdness just to see what was supposed to be so funny.

I agree that there have been times in my life when I have been “calloused” toward such lewdness but it wasn’t something that happened over night much like any callous it took time for it to work its way there. Instead of choosing Christ daily I gradually fell into the habit of seeking the fulfillment of my flesh. Eventually lacking self-control and getting into situations that now I regret but have learned so much from. I see now that the guilt that came after giving so much of my heart and “body” to someone who I “thought” I loved was the conviction of the Holy Spirit on my heart telling me what I was doing was wrong. I know that if I would have continued in that behavior eventually I would have been so far off removed that I would have regretted a whole lot more. Each time it happened it got easier to go a little farther and give in to a little more of my fleshly desires. Thinking and justifying everything along the way. I was hardening my heart toward God and that’s precisely what this callousness of yours is. It’s a heart that is hardened toward God. I’ve known you in your “self-righteous” days and in your seemingly perpetual cycle of seeking then falling. To be entirely truthful I miss the old friend. The “self-righteous” friend, that was the friend that I feel in love with as a friend. The one that was constantly challenging my beliefs and teaching me how to pursue God with all my heart, soul and mind as He tried to do the same. I know that it wasn’t your truest desire to judge these people with a heart of self-righteousness you just let yourself get in the way of God’s work in you. Which was and is to consider others as more important than yourself and to pursue correcting them with humility and gentleness. Just because that was a time in your life when you were the closest with God doesn’t mean you had everything straight. I too find myself deeply troubled by the daily lives of “christians” around me. My father definitely takes the crown on this one. Do I question his salvation? No, that is not for me to question BUT if he is going to claim to be one then I’m going to treat him like he is. I’m going to seek how I can help correct his behavior when it is not honoring to God. Because as a believer (which he claims to be) we are ambassadors of God and I don’t want to see him representing God in a life drenched in sinfulness because that is not who God is.

I disagree with your statement about passing judgment on other believers. I think it is our heavenly duty to look out for our brothers and sisters in Christ. Who are you to pass judgment? You are a follower of Christ, a disciple of the almighty God who is the creator of heaven and earth, the holy one. We seek holiness because He is holy and the only way to grow closer to Him is to put off the desires of this world and run fast toward Him. So what if I don’t watch lewd videos or listen to explicit lyrics. That’s not what makes you a Christian it’s the increasing lack of a desire to do those things. Not because you are better than those who do but because you are seeking to commune with God and He is better than those things. Does God accept us as we are? Yes So, does this mean we should keep on feeding our flesh? NO! If we are a new creation and alive in Christ how can we continue living in the bondage of sin? Does this mean we are sinless? No, we are human and working out our salvation but we should be sinning less or in the very least making efforts to do so and even just making efforts is rather pitiful from God perspective, yeah? Anyways, back to judging other believers. I think there is a stark difference in judging other believers because you think you are better than them and judging them because you understand how easy it is to fall away and want to help them pursue holiness not just for there own benefit but for the glory of God. How beautiful it is when God’s children worship Him through obedience. I think that’s what Paul sought to do. He didn’t correct the people he discipled because he thought he was better than them but because he understood them and wanted to help them and glorify God. I have been studying 1 Corinthians and Paul says some heavy stuff on this topic in chapters 5-6 (chapter 4 is talking about salvation/trustworthiness which i agree with Paul that his is not something we judge but for God alone. Salvation and discipline however are two different things that Paul distinguishes in the realm of judgment. If Paul was saying in chapter 4 that we are not to judge others in any circumstance then he is a hypocrite and manipulator in chapters 5-6).

In regards to what you said “I think what I really miss about that time is the constant call that I felt to be, “set apart”. This concept of being set apart is a defining concept of God’s church. But I think it is so easy to misunderstand what God intends. The leap from “God wants us to be good” and “being good makes us Christians” is too easy for most of us to make.” I agree it is a thin line and one that the Pharisees had one of the hardest times with. Ephesians 2:8-10 says pretty clearly what it is that saves us as well as the fact that God created us for good works. So although they do not save us they are important for us to do as that is a part of what we were created for.

-Melissa
Heb. 3:12-13

I can see how easy it can be to become so self-righteous, just as you once were. I hope it didn’t sound as if that’s what I wanted you to be like again because it’s not. I simply saying I miss your zeal for the Lord but I understood how it was easily transformed into self-righteousness. A lot of that grows from comparing yourself with others and not God. When we correct people because we think we are better than them that is self-righteousness. When we correct because we too are co-struggler’s (for lack of a better word) before God then we find that balance. It becomes increasingly more difficult to correct someone in self-righteousness when you understand you too struggle before God. It’s as if we need to view ourselves in a battlefield and we must never leave a fallen comrade. We are constantly in a spiritual battle and being in Japan I have felt this more than ever.

I’ve taken many spiritual gifts test and each time I think the actual battery of questions is lame but I talked to a wise man in the faith about spiritual gifts and he explained it as something we discover more concretely as we live life and see how God uses us the most. I’ve discovered through years of evaluation that my gift is exhortation. That is why I think I understand what you are seeking when you say you want to have that balance. I wouldn’t say that I’m disgusted with humanity but I do see a fervent need for everyone to come to the Father. And that is what spurs me to be where I am at today. To tell everyone the good news and the hope that we have in the savior. Does this mean that I am always hanging out with non-believers? No, I’m not God, I need to be refueled. I need to fellowship with other believers and with God lest I start reflecting unbelievers more than God! However, I do need to be where there are unbelievers. How will they hear in less I tell them? How can I tell them if I never build a relationship with them? Christians in America are always talking about how we want to change but how many times do we actually make efforts to meet unbelievers and minister to them? This was something that I have been really convicted about. I can see now how different my life in Tokyo is from what it was in California. I actually blogged about this before even getting here.

My thoughts on being disgusted with humanity make me ask if some Christians true desire not to be disgusted with humanity is because they want to accept and incorporate more of “humanities” lifestyle into there own i.e become just a little calloused. I don’t know, I could be wrong, maybe a true desire to engage the enemy for Christ really does empower them! But, I would say for everyone, me included “Look at your life.” Look at how you spend your time and you will find that actions speak louder than words. How you act is what you truly believe. You can say you don’t believe in abortion but if you have one then wouldn’t we have to question what you say you believe? The same is true for Christians who say they believe in exhorting your brothers and sisters in Christ. If you believe in exhortation then see your brother living in sin and ignore it or worse, accept it doesn’t that make you a hypocrite? However, ministering to unbelievers is far different than ministering to other believers. Yes, we have to be wise in our actions with both family and with strangers also knowing that we must guard our hearts and flee from sin. In other words we can minister to crack smokers but that doesn’t mean it’s ok to smoke crack and understanding THAT principle is a huge part of the balance.

IMG_2715

Originally uploaded by livingsacrifice

This was one of the saddest pictures that I’ve ever taken. To see people that God wants for them to worship Him and Him alone and yet they are bowing to a false god.

Taken from a paper I wrote on fools and folly after reading from the preacher and author Harold Bullock.

The Typological Fool

Foolish behavior stems from failing to fear God and failing to practice humility. The fear of the Lord results in a surrender to Him, giving Him the desire of your heart; secondly, it results in trusting in God and taking him at His word. In order to fear God it is absolutely necessary to practice humility. There are various ways in which people either do not fear God and/or act prideful. Thus, people do not usually suffer from only one type of foolish behavior; rather, many suffer from a spectrum of foolish behaviors that can be seen throughout ones life. However, often time’s one particular folly dominates over the others. While many may mature away from these foolish behaviors, some do not. Those who do not remove themselves from their folly suffer the pangs that come with foolishness. This is as a result of being blinded from their folly or unfortunately openly choosing to continue living it. This choice to embrace a lifestyle that does not live righteously and justly toward others yields perpetual pain and sorrow. If these people do not stamp out these foolish behaviours while they are young or embrace Christ they will eventually develop into adult size fools and with that comes many complications. Certainly, we are all inclined to behave foolishly at times; it is the course of action we take against such behaviour that marks the true desire of our hearts. That is not to say that adult size fools cannot turn from their ways or rather that God cannot transform and renew their minds. The point is that adult size fools are more ingrained into their lifestyle and shaping their behavior is less accessible than children so we find that it becomes more of our heavenly Father chiseling away the pieces that don’t reflect him rather than a parent disciplining his children.

By nature we are selfish individuals. The desires of our hearts are closely linked to our actions. Bullock teaches that the human heart contains three corrupting drives that mark the foundation for follies to develop or for us to behave in foolish ways. These three drives in Hebrew are called: ‘Ivveleth, Howleluwth, and Ra’. ‘Ivveleth is the stubborn self-centeredness that drives us to seek after our own desires. Howleluwth is the justification we do to exalt ourselves. To think that we deserve to get what we want. Ra’ is the willingness to hurt others in order to get what we want when we want it because we think we deserve it.

Prov. 4:23 warns us to guard our hearts because from it flows the spring of life. This is important especially in light of Prov. 16:22 where understanding is connected to the fountain of life. So therefore the heart is the wellspring of life and understanding is a subsequent body of that water. From the desires within our heart flow our actions. If we have evil desires sowed within our heart then we will show that in our actions. Our sin turns into a habit and that habit forms into a lifestyle. Coincidentally, lifestyle is one manner of many by which fools are differentiated from the wise. There are five major and distinct fools that Bullock mentions: Keciyl’s, Eviyl’s, Cakal’s, Halal’s and Nabal’s. The Keciyl fool is driven by ‘Ivveleth. He wants what he wants and is selfishly motivated to get it. The problem, therefore, is that the Keciyl does not surrender his desires to God. Instead he focuses on his own desires and strives to achieve them but does so in a way that does not take God into account and that is very impatient. He is trying to get what he wants but through the fastest way possible. It is this laziness and lack of diligence that proves to be his demise.

The Eviyl is also driven by the ‘Ivvelteth. He seeks his own desires and not God’s. An Eviyl is characterized by his behavior with others. He tends to be manipulative, controlling, rebellious, and adversarial. He demonstrates these characteristics by getting upset with others and doing whatever is necessary to get his way. Even if he can see God as truth, He is not a reality for them in his life.

A Cakal is the best outward example of what the desire of Ivelleth can lead one to. This is because Ivelleth is so easily seen here in more than just the interaction that one has with people. A Cakal does not have to interact with others for one to see his folly, his choices and subsequent consequences. His desire is to please himself; he does not think that God has to be incorporated in his decision making process.

The fourth fool is the Halal. Vanity is the name of the game for him. He wants all eyes on him and he does not try to be humble about it. The desire of his heart is inclined to Howlelah. This means that he truly thinks that he deserves to get what he wants when he wants it. These people are usually the “superstars” (leaders, famous people, etc.) It is the Howlelah within his heart that causes him to be so arrogant.

The fifth and final fool is the Nabal. This is the most dangerous of the fools because the Nabal lives like there are no divine consequences. To him, God does not exist and therefore, there is no eternal right or wrong but only the laws or standards that society establishes. In a way the Nabal sees himself as the god of his world.

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Life has been such a whirlwind lately. I have a problem staying in one spot for too long, lol not really but it sure does seem that way. I can’t believe that it has been one year since I moved back down to Riverside. I’ll be moving back in with my parents at exactly the same time I came to move down here a year ago. September 30th is my last work day and my last day in Riverside for a while. Sigh, so much has happened this past year. I’ve become an avid swing dancer, met wonderful and amazing people from both ISP and dancing, become a member of a fantastic church and developed relationships with autistic toddlers that has changed my life.

St.Vincent is beyond words, thinking of that adventure brings me to tears. No worries they are tears of joy. I have fallen in love with my team. Each and every one of them are such amazing individuals. I can’t imagine having gone without anyone of them. They people of St. Vincent were phenomenal! I come from a Hispanic background and I’ve still never seen the kind of hospitality that they gave us. Their hearts for God were to be admired as well. I learned so much in watching and listening to them then I had in a long while. They strive to live the gospel and I thank God for their desire to serve. I learned a lot about myself from this journey as well. I know more fervently than before what my weakness’ and strengths are. This is especially helpful before I go to Central Asia. Life is a changin’ and I’m not going to complain. I’m excited for the journey that God has brought me through thus far and eager to see what He has in store. Until then…aur’voir!

p.s.

Here are a few pictures from St.Vincent. I’ll post some more later Also, I couldn’t figure out how to link the pictures to the file so you have to click on the text below it to see the full size versions.

Indian Bay

Bubbles

First girls picture on the island

Oh boy…

Jayme and one of her children

One of the elementary schools we presented at…

Looking over St.Vincent…